sorry

My team said it's a bad idea. I'll leave the blog here to explore wordpress. thank you.

Englishing

I was so nervous about posting my first post. I was never secure about my English. languge abillities don't run at my family. My mom lives in Israel about 18 years, and she still can't read and write Hebrew fluently. She needs my help with official documents. she also has never studied English.

I think the most useful help for my English was the trip to New-York with mom when I was fifteen. Till then, I was too afraid to speak English aloud. When we were in New-York I had no choice - I had to speak English for both of us, ask for directions a prices and stuff. Otherwise we were stuck in Ocean parkway subway station until today.

It was an awful trip. Trust me - if you're fifteen, don't go abroad with my mom. It was boring as hell. We stayed at my grandparents' house. I had no one my age I can hang out with, except my remote cousin who was too busy to meet me. I couldn't go anywhere without my mom because she was worried about me traveling alone. My mom couldn't go anywhere without me because she was helpless. I had no computer. I tried to watch TV, but all the channels the had were full of commercials, and my grandparents had to watch every single news broadcast once a hour. The only thing that got me amused was a little notebook I had.

Manhattan was so great and shiny and filthy, there were beautiful graffiti creations everywhere, young people looked so busy and vital. I was eager to explore everything around me but I couldn't - I was a misrable child stuck with her mom. It's like I had a free demo sample of New-York. Saw it without permission to touch. That is one of the reasons why I want to go back, to experience it like it should be.

Today, when I had nothing to do in work, I read Emily Gould's article "Expozed" on The New York times website. They let her write the cover story about her blogging history in first person. It made me jaleuos. She mentioned another blogger, Julia Allison. I googled her and discovered she is like my parallel american blogger. Shallow, Funny, exhibitionist just like myself. The diffrence between us, are the achievements we got. While I participated in an unprofitable TV show no one watched, she broadcasted on any influencial network. While I wrote anonimous articles for rickety websites, she had coloums in some of the biggest international magazines. yay. After overcoming my local jealousy objects, I found a world class equivaelnt to aspire to.

What I wanted to say when started writing this post, I that my friens and my boyfriend laughed at me at first.
"An English blog? and who's gonna write it for you?"
"I will"
"HA HA!" they said to me.
but after I posted the first post, they were surprized to find out only some insignificant typing mistakes.
In addition, when I ran a spellcheck over my text and found out there aren't any mistakes, I sighed so loudly my coworkers thought I'm strangling.
In summery, I found out my english isn't as bad as I assumed. That's a soothing revelation to start with.

Another New Begining

Who am I?

I'm 21 years old female. My name Is Alizarin. My friends call me Zroob. I was born in Ukraine and raised in Israel. Alizarin isn't Israli nor russian name, It's a name I found on a color tube and gave to myself. It looks like this:

I live with my handsome lazy boyfriend in a quiet area nearby Tel-Aviv, I always wear pink, my behaviour is awkward, and I believe I should get paid for having fun. Since I enjoy creating, It's not unreasonable. I love writing, sketching, photographing and posing. You can give me pen and put me in front of empty piece of paper - and I will never be bored. However, I rather manage more Intensive way of life then scribbling all day long. Doing nothing gets me depressed. This is how I got to be the youngest student at my class and youngest worker at my workplace. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the best. I'm not a perfectionist. I just try to do the best I can with my low resources.

What makes me special is my weired, colorful life. Even when nothing special happens, my life is more interesting then the usual avarage life. Some of it emerges simply from living in Israel. I mean, how many people you know who can tell you they have been hurt in a dishwashing accidend caused by the latest middle east war?

some additional information: I wore panties on my head every day for half a year in highschooll. The neigbors in my last appartment were some recording studios and a nice good looking girl who worked as a stripper. Once I worked as a bartender at a wedding that took place in a sado club. Tommorow I'm planing to attend a russian-lesbians-party. Dude, it sounds so hairy when I put it that way.

I never made out anything I wrote in my blogs - never had to.

Bloging history

I've started blogging at May 8, 2003. More than 5 years ago. It always was a personal journal. nothing professional, just my thoughts and adventures. I wrote hundreds, maybe thousands pages of text. And let me tell you, It's addictive. Even when I took an intermission, my blog was writing itself on random pieces of paper.

people said it outrageous, hilarious, provocative, disgrace to the blogger race, foolish, sophisticated, golden shit. Almost all the eminent newspapers have mentioned my blog. Some praised it, some critisized it. I was on TV and on the radio. people recognize me on the streets everywhere I go.

Blogging has changed my life. It brought me lots of great friends, It made me self-aware, It helped me get the attention I didn't get as a child, and so much more. I'm a natural born born blogger, and this blog is the next step.

Why do I need this blog?

well, let's start with the statistics.There are about 8 million hebrew speakers. Most of them don't read blogs. In comparison, there are more than 500 million english speakers, and that's quite a bigger audience. Why do I want to reach this audience? Well, don't laugh at me, but I hope it will help me in fulfilling my american dream. Before I sattle down and raize a familly in Israel, I want to conquer the world! Or at least to work for a while in a cool studio in New York. If I stick with blogging, It will improve my english and maybe will get me some useful connections.

I have two years left before I finish my degree studies. After that, I tend to be certified interactive designer. I will use this blog also to show you my abilitys advancement. And of course - I will keep on doing what I did untill now: tell you about my life, giving you an insane point of view on sane Israeli existence.

Meanwhile, I start showing you the flash site I built lately, which shows a variety of my last graphic creations.

Nice to meet you!

now I will stop blogging about blogging. See you next post.

Alizarin

photo by Eldad Rafaeli